we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
