you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
