And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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