the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
