tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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