Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
