Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
