Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
