Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
