I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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