There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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