You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
