I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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