I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
