Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
