4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
