I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i drank out of a bidet.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
