That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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