So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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