so that wasnt chicken after all
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
