Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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