Just fell off a train. Bad.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
