wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
