In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
