You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
