Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
