So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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