I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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