I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
