if i died would you start the facebook group?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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