Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ladies don't puke and tell
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
