I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
