First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
