i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
