I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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