He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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