I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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