Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
