He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
