I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
