we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
