He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
