Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
