Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
