He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
