So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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