He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
