I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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