please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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