you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
